Divorce can be challenging when one parent uses it as a battleground to manipulate a child’s perception of the other parent. Parental alienation, particularly when driven by a narcissistic ex, can leave deep emotional wounds on a child.
This tactic can damage the kids’ trust, sense of identity and long-term relationships. If you’re a targeted parent, helping your child recover from this form of emotional abuse is not only possible—it’s vital.
Maintain a calm, consistent presence
If your child is recovering from alienation, they will need to feel a sense of emotional safety. You can be their safe space by avoiding retaliation even when they act cold or repeat hurtful things. Instead of matching the drama, be the calm they need in the storm.
Your consistency over time will sharply contrast with the alienating parent’s volatility or manipulation. Don’t forget to maintain routines, show up when you say you will and honor your word. You want to demonstrate that you are dependable to help rebuild trust.
Don’t criticize the other parent—even if they deserve it
It’s tempting to defend yourself or expose your ex’s manipulation, but doing so can further destabilize your child. Instead, focus on validating your child’s feelings without feeding into the toxic narrative. Say things like, “I’m sorry you’ve been feeling that way. I’m here if you want to talk more.” Let your actions speak louder than words. With time, your child will begin to see the contrast.
Use therapeutic support
A neutral third party, such as a family therapist trained in high-conflict custody and trauma, can help your child sort through the confusion. Therapy provides a safe space where your child can process emotions without pressure. A therapist can also coach you on how to respond to alienation with empathy and emotional intelligence.
Rebuild connection through shared experiences
Create opportunities for joy, discovery and bonding outside your children’s experience of the divorce. Hobbies, weekend outings, quiet reading time or shared rituals (like Sunday breakfast) can help re-establish your role as a loving, engaged parent.
Helping your child recover from parental alienation is a difficult journey, but with patience, love and professional guidance, healing is possible. Your role is to counteract manipulation with truth and reassure your child that they are loved—no matter what they’ve been told. To help streamline the legalities surrounding divorce and parental alienation, consider enlisting experienced legal guidance.
